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Saturday 3 September 2011

LiFe'S CrAzY RuLeS


* Lerman's Law of Technology: Every technical problem can be overcome if given enough time & money. Corollary: You are never given enough time or money. 

* Murphy's Law for Wives: If you ask your husband to pick up five items at the store and then you add one more as an afterthought, he will forget two of the first five. 

Law of Search: The first place to look for anything is the last place you would expect to find it. 
Corollary: It will not be in the last place you expect to find it. 

* Kauffman's Paradox of the Corporation: The less important you are to the company, the more your tardiness or absence is noticed. 

The Salary Axiom: The pay raise is just large enough to increase your taxes and just small enough to have no effect on your take-home pay. 

Miller's Law of Insurance: Insurance covers everything except what happens. 

First Law of Living: As soon as you start doing what you always wanted to be do, you'll want to do something else. 

Weiner's Law of Libraries: There are no answers, only cross references.

Isaac's Rule of Staleness: Any food that starts out hard will soften when stale and any food that starts out soft will harden when stale

Kenny's Law of Auto Repair: The part requiring the most consistent repair or replacement will be housed in the most inaccessible location. 
 
The Grocery Bag Law: The chocolate that you planned to eat on the way home from the market is hidden at the bottom of the grocery bag.

Lampner's Law of Employment: When leaving work late, you will not be noticed. When you leave work early, you will meet your boss in the parking lot. 

* Quile's Consultation Law: The job that pays the most will be offered when there is no time to deliver the services.

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